"my love ain't sexy. it's ferocious. it eats men for breakfast ans deposits them in the nearest spittoon at lunch time ( Read more... )

i feel frozen.

i don't have words most of the time to express the "emptiness" i feel. and it makes me feel like a kid all over again. not in a fun five year old way. in an angsty, really irritating fifteen year old way.

part of this is the fast. i was just on a juice fast for about 3+ days (i don't say 4 because i was sleeping a lot,...and on the ( Read more... )

sometimes it isn't enough to just set up precautions.

sometimes, you just have to not do things you know you shouldn't.

more later?

"Well, it doesn't look that bad" --Dan after seeing my haircut while visiting Yuri.

Thanks asshole. If you two cared so much, you should brush up on your tact. I mean really.

isn't it weird when you finally notice you were feeling a certain way?

like when you've been depressed and for some reason didn't recognize that you've been that way even though you really recognize it every time you are?

like me all day?

i quit JR over the phone.
i cut my hair pretty short.

depressed and didn't know it?
funny.

oh no oh no oh no oh no

oh no.

alright, so, (without caps) here i am again, trying to figure it all out. i don't want to pretend i have it all together and i certainly know i don't. today i feel far worse than i have in the past month or so and it may be a cumulative feeling.

the sickness is getting my morale down. i'm still sick because i want to do ( Read more... )

Time is moving fast.

Monday, I didn't call Merendino's. In fact, I didn't wake up until around 3 or so and the day was a big mess. I cut my hair (I pulled it into a pony tail and snipped it off. It's lopsided but at least I got the angle I wanted.) I went to Merendino's to talk with Matt and we made a deal. So I just had to show up this Saturday at ( Read more... )

The past two times I've tried to post the entry box was all tiny and pissed me off. I was very angry ( Read more... )

Last night, at around 2 AM, I had a huge crying session. I felt alone and it was wayyy creepier than it should've been. All the missing my cat from the previous 3 days caught up with me along with how horrible Saturday night went for me..and crashed onto my bed. I still hadn't put my sheets on, I missed Skitz, I felt unloved and underappreciated.
I ( Read more... )

Playing catch up kind of sucks with this journal.

Anyway, ( FAM DRAM )